I have been so busy with work and school I just as of late been losing myself. I have been having wicked anxiety lately and I feel as though that I am being betrayed and I don;t know why either. Its sicking. I have a feeling that things have not changed and nothing will ever change…
What am I doing so wrong in this life to be treated this poorly? I try so hard to become a better person and love myself and respect myself but it falls short when I allow others to walk all over me.
I should know better but I guess that I don’t. I do hope that with my upcoming classes I will get better at this whole thing. I have 21 classes left to take to get my degree and that is awesome.
It is a new month, and a new day.
Saying goodbye to my stepfather last week has been so emotionally mind draining that I almost just want to drop out of college again because I simply cannot focus. But I know that is not what he would have wanted me to do so I am going to be sticking too it. I want to be top of my class and I am going to work really hard at becoming the best.
Crap on a cracker.
I am not in a good emotional state right now to be function. I have not been here a week and my life is still going down hill.
Sister in law mom passed away the night I flew in. My brother hasn’t stopped degrading me since have been back and I know that he is going through a lot right now…but fuck off.
School stuff came and so didn’t the rest of my stuff.
I am running on 1 cup of coffee.
I need internet at home.
I want to cry.
I miss my best friend. I hate this fucking place. But if it wasn’t for this town we would have never meet. I guess that is something to be thank for.
Sitting in the Denver Airport. Alone. Slightly scared but yet ok. You really get a grip on life when you travel alone.